The Playbook For The Modern Man

How To Survive A Night Of Debauchery Without ‘Disappointing’ Your Partner

“A couple of friendly messages could be the difference between waking up to bacon and eggs, or an FBI style interrogation.”

Admit it: it’s hard to keep both your partner and your friends happy. But when the phone pings and the long-awaited message appears—it’s hard to say no to a squad night out. Whether it’s your best friend’s stag, a team footy trip or just a Friday night on the town with your mates: the possibilities are endless.

But so is the potential to disappoint your partner.

Gone are the single university days, where no-one had to deal with your overnight antics but you. Now there are two people’s dignity at stake. But you still want to have fun, right?

So do you throw caution sideways, go wherever your borderline alcoholic mates lead you, and wind up with suspicious bruises, a foggy memory and several STI’s?

No: but you also don’t want to spend the night tucked away in the corner, glued to your phone and killing everyone’s vibe.


By following this guide you’ll be the life of the party, and still be able to look your partner in the eye when you get home.


Preparation Is Key

It’s rare in any group of mates for you all to be single (or taken) at once. So while you might be content to start the night with the Tinder and Tequila acolytes of the group, unless you enjoy being an awkward third wheel you don’t want to share an Uber home with them. Sure: offer your services as a wingman and have a good time with everyone—but a few well placed messages early on to the other attached members of the group will ensure a smooth transition from the Pub to Casino (or home) while the Lotharios of the gang practice their R n’ B at the club.

Communicate Throughout The Night

No one wants to be the lame dude who is so attached to his phone he may as well not be out, but at the same time a couple of friendly messages could be the difference between your partner feeling uneasy all night (and asking a bunch of suspicious questions the next day) and your partner curling up with a round of Netflix and making you a bacon and egg roll the next morning.

Watch Your Drinks

It’s a sad moment when one of your so called mates decides to slip a little something into your drink, but it has happened. So especially if you are on a night out or a trip with a group bigger than just your close mates, keep an eye on your beer—and look after each other.

Don’t Drink To The Point Of No Return

We believe if you are in a healthy relationship your partner should have no problem with you getting a little ‘sideways’ in their absence. But, especially if they are a bit insecure, telling them, “I was blacked out from 8pm onwards” is not going to go down as well as, “I got a bit tipsy and had an existential epiphany at the urinal.” But we’ll leave this one up to you.

Do Be The Life Of The Party

Initiate group sing alongs, strike up conversations with strangers and make the most of those impromptu moments that come with every epic night out. Order that espresso martini. Hug that bouncer. Put $100 (if you can afford to lose it) on red. Buy your mates a round.


Do Something Cool The Next Day

To avoid a wasted day of moping around whinging about how much your head hurts and how brightly the sun is shining, knock back a couple of Paracetamol and a Berocca, whip out your favourite hangover sunnies, and do something relaxed and fun with your partner. Just as alcohol can make you feel special, done right your hangover can work as a social crutch too, inspiring sympathy, conversation and interest—so wear it as a badge of honour.

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