The Playbook For The Modern Man

Hotel Guest Reveals Why You Should Never Use Your Room’s Coffee Machine

Fancy a flat white with a bit of fungi?

Picture your standard late night arrival to a hotel. You drop your bags exhausted and jet lagged, ready to crash You do a half decent job but not to worry, there’s morning coffee to be brewed complements of your room’s instant coffeemaker. Morning rolls around and you open the water tank to find this.

That’s exactly what happened to one Reddit user who recently stayed at this undisclosed hotel. Growing in the coffee machine’s water dispenser was a form of mould or fungus which looks like it had been cultivating in there for a while. The unsightly find by Henry River on the news aggregation platform was quickly met by other hotel guests and workers who warned against the most common hotel traps from ice buckets to coffee cups to remote controls and even bed spreads. Basically, if all the warnings are followed, sleep in the hallway.

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One user named msk1974 said:

“Business traveller here. There are 2 things I always check. Coffee pot and ice bucket.”

“Your example of the coffee pot is exactly why I check. I have also heard a story from a hotel worker about a guest who pissed in the coffee pot AND the water container of the iron. A guest tried to iron his shirt and noticed something was wrong. Shirt was ruined from ironing piss onto it.”

“People should also realise that the ice buckets are used all the time as puke buckets for drunken guests. If you plan on using one be sure to clean it out very good and always use the plastic bag insert.”

Another user also had a nasty encounter with an innocent hotel iron.

“Was in Vegas getting ready in my buddies room,” said NippleHead321 (not his real name).

“Started to iron my nice jacket when half way through drunk I noticed that it started to turn from a light grey to a dark purple.”

“Yeah, someone decided to pour bleach inside of it.”

And if you thought your air-conditioning was safe then think again, said a hotel worker, avenafatua00.

“I work at a hotel. Yesterday some clients told me that there we a lot of ants in her room. I couldn’t believe it so I went with her and took a look and basically they were everywhere.”

“Looked like they were coming from the air-conditioning. I called a technician to check it for me and turned out there were two dead rats in the machine and the ants were eating the shit out of them.”

“There was some worms as well and every disgusting shit you can imagine. And the smell was great. No idea how they got there. Needless to say we gave them a different room and didn’t charge them for the first night.”

A quick Google search will reveal that hotel rooms are fraught with bacterial dangers. Studies in particular have shown that the humble remote control is notorious as the dirtiest items in a hotel room.

This is followed closely by light switches, telephones, glasses and cups, bathtubs, beds and drapes. Countertops and desks recorded the least amount of bacteria so perhaps that could be your next bedding option. You alternative is to suck it up.

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