The Playbook For The Modern Man

This CrossFit Champion’s Workout Routine Will Obliterate You… But Is Strangely Addictive

Glutton for punishment?

Everyone knows CrossFit is addictive. But – until now – we assumed it was due to it being a cult the social aspect. Today, however, our conception was blown out of the water as our attention was drawn to Noah Ohlsen’s Instagram account.

Noah is a CrossFit champion and the second fittest man in the world. But rather than having a chip on his shoulder, he’s got a barbell. He also has been posting some insane workouts on Instagram that are goddamn mesmerising.

 

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First, they’ll break you, then they’ll see you crawling back for more. Why? Nothing is more addictive than results catching your neighbour perving on your triceps.

In fact, the workouts are so addictive, even the armchair experts can’t stop watching them: “My man!!!! My favorite channel to binge watch!!” reads one comment of many beneath one of Noah’s belly-stopping videos.

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Keen to try? Here are (we reckon) Noah’s best two routines.

 

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Well, that’s a wrap! The @trainingthinktank “hopefully not annual” Quarantine Classic was a good test and a good time! Hats off to @maxelhag and the entire TTT team for putting together something for the community on such short notice. Congrats to all of the competitors who tossed their hats in the ring. This was just what I needed to reignite that competitive fire 🔥 ⁣ ⁣ Here’s a clip from each of following the workouts.⁣ ⁣ ⁣ STRENGTH WORKOUT 2⁣ 12-Min Window:⁣ Max Isometric Chin Over Bar Hold⁣ into…⁣ 5 Rep Max STOH from the floor⁣ ⁣ ENGINE WORKOUT 2⁣ 5 rounds for time:⁣ 50 air squats⁣ 1000 foot shuttle run⁣ ⁣ ⁣ CROSSFIT WORKOUT 2⁣ 10 rounds for time:⁣ 8 power snatch 95/65#⁣ 5 burpee box jumps 24/20″⁣ ⁣ ⁣ STRENGTH WORKOUT 1⁣ 3 Min Window:⁣ 20 Squat Cleans for Time @ 225/155# ⁣ at the 3 Min mark…⁣ 5-Min Window: ⁣ Build to a max Squat Snatch⁣ ⁣ CROSSFIT WORKOUT 1⁣ For time:⁣ 40 deadlift 225/155#⁣ 40 hspu⁣ 30 deadlift 275/195#⁣ 30 strict hspu⁣ 20 deadlift 315/225#⁣ 200 foot hs walk⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ENGINE WORKOUT 1⁣ For time:⁣ 70/50 calorie row

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Routine One

Strength workout – 12-minute window

  • Max Isometric Chin Over Bar Hold⁣
  • 5 rep shoulder to overhead from the floor⁣ (with the barbell weighed to your max)⁣

Engine workout – cycle through five times

  • 50 air squats⁣
  • 1000 foot shuttle run⁣

⁣CrossFit workout – ten rounds

  • 8 power snatches 95/65#⁣
  • 5 burpee box jumps 24/20″⁣

Routine Two

Strength workout – three minute window

  • 20 Squat Cleans for Time @ 225/155# ⁣⁣

CrossFit workout

  • 40 deadlift 225/155#⁣
  • 40 hand stand push ups
  • 30 deadlift 275/195#⁣
  • 30 strict hspu⁣
  • 20 deadlift 315/225#⁣
  • 200 foot handstand walk⁣

 

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⁣⁣Engine workout

  • 70/50 calorie row

Further workout inspiration Noah provides include ‘core for sure’ (a great way to kill/rejuvenate your abs)…

… a home equipment free burn for those whose main excuse for not working out is “I don’t have the equipment”…

… and a masterclass in squatting (also weight free) just to finish you off…

Got it? Gains await.

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