If there’s one thing that can separate guys in Australia and America it’s grooming regimes, and never has there been a better time to witness that than during the current worldwide lockdown. Not only have guys the world over taken to cutting their own hair (with varying results of success), but it has also sparked up a ‘quarantine beard’ trend that has seen guys grow out their facial fuzz…again, to varying (to put it mildly) degrees of success.
How do we know? Well, as with any other incremental updates in people’s everyday lives (and out of sheer boredom right now, we presume) that get posted to social media, quarantine beards have a place all of their own online.
We’re a good couple of months into the global quarantine since most countries introduced lockdown towards the end of March. Ample time then for guys to work on their manes, but as we mentioned earlier, when it comes to guys in Australia and America, the two nations take a very different approach to how a beard should look, when nobody is around to see it.
Being an Australian publication, we’ll focus on our own first. Here are a few examples of how Aussie guys are taking a more slack approach to their beards. Sydney-based YouTuber of all things gaming, Ninja Kuma, perhaps accurately predicts how he’ll look if he chooses to grow his beard out. Perhaps it should be of no surprise to learn that Tweets posted a few days later show him facial-fuzz-free.
Should I grow a Corona Beard?
We all know I’ll look like an Anime Character by the end of COVID19 Quarantine pic.twitter.com/IFFCIr4xUZ
— Ninja Kuma 🔴 #FinalFantasy #FF7R #Persona5Royal (@TheNinjaKuma) April 16, 2020
Young Greg Norman, also a Sydney resident, regales his experiences of growing a beard that we’re confident all guys can relate to; the dreaded itchy phase. We assume he’s learning how to channel inner patience and resilience, but he’ll come out of lockdown a much stronger man.
Day 6 of quarantine beard: I have embraced the itchy face and my beard is beginning to teach me so much more than I ever imagined
— young greg norman (@yaboypathfinder) April 11, 2020
There will be some men who’ll read Skeelsy’s Tweet and come up with other ways of calling him a “chicken”. Nobody will ever grow a perfect beard first try, especially without a little bit of maintenance. But the lockdown is the perfect time to forget about upkeep and to let the jawfro do its thing. Chicken.
Quarantine beard update: needed a trim to prevent it’s transition from ‘quarantine’ to ‘apocalypse’
— Skeelsy (@skeelsyshoota) March 24, 2020
Across the pond, however, Americans appear to be taking a much more serious approach to their beards, ensuring they’re trimmed to absolute perfection as if they were maintaining a garden hedge.
Take Brooklyn resident Sam White, for example. Just a week ago he posted this image of himself with a beard that is trimmed and maintained to near-on perfection. Good coverage, good length and no patches. We’d be surprised to him shave it off anytime soon.
Quarantine beard check. pic.twitter.com/tjJpq95Lms
— Sam White (@samwhiteout) May 14, 2020
Philip Alan of Los Angeles, California, posted this image of his dad growing out his quarantine beard, making him look like an absolute don. Pierce Brosnan lookalike anyone?
My dad growing his quarantine beard. pic.twitter.com/8Jaf2U6LZP
— Philip Alan (@PhilipAlanPhoto) May 16, 2020
American actor Bruce Campbell of Evil Dead fame has been getting in on the quarantine beard action. If we look similar when we hit 60, we’ll be happy.
Gonna be bluntly honest here. Not NEARLY enough of you are talking about how insanely handsome Bruce Campbell is with his quarantine beard because HOLY SHIT. pic.twitter.com/j5Hni4BxcS
— St. Sluggo, friendly neighborhood anarchist (@SaintSluggo) May 14, 2020
Of course, being America, not everybody will get things right. Case in point is Trevor Noah. We feel we don’t need to chip in here, as this tweet from Ashley St Clair sums it up perfectly.
And the award for most pathetic quarantine beard goes to Trevor Noah pic.twitter.com/30UXTjKVwU
— Ashley StClair 🇺🇸 (@stclairashley) May 16, 2020
It’s clear then, that Australia can learn a thing or two from America (just not from Trevor). But if all else fails, they can turn to poster-boy Chris Hemsworth, who proves there’s nothing wrong with ditching the longer hair in favour of some designer stubble.