The phrase “dating trend” has been trotted out to the point where it now seems the most mundane aspects of hooking up all have names. But today we’re not here to talk about ‘wokefishing’ or ‘candy corning‘ – we’re here to alert you to the most wholesome dating trend of 2020: beard baiting.
Dubbed “the push up bra for men,” beard baiting is when you grow a beard in order to accentuate your jawline (or to hide a small chin). Rampaging through meme accounts, it’s no surprise this rather cruel image has embedded itself into the popular culture of 2020, with a beard vs no beard meme proving to be one of the most shared.
DMARGE spoke to Samantha Jayne, Australian Relationship Expert and Advisor to Channel 10’s The Bachelor, to get her insights.
“Some might disagree but I think beard baiting makes things fair,” Samantha told DMARGE.
“Think about it: women wear make up, they get their hair blow-dried, spray tans, fake eyelashes, nails, filters on social media, contouring smaller noses, corsets tightening waistlines, push up bras, not to mention the botox and fillers, cosmetic tattoos, butt lifts you name it!”
“Women have the advantage when it comes to enhancing beauty or hiding flaws men just don’t have all the tools women do to enhance their looks.”
All up? “Who cares if you’re hiding a little bit of a double chin, women would do it too and they have make up tricks that do all sorts of things.”
That said, as Samantha explains, any “beard baiting” men should do so consciously, and be wary it could be very easily exposed.
“Where there is an ethical dilemma is extreme beard baiting – especially when clean-shaven comes back. You will get exposed! Big time! How do you explain your completely different look. I guess it’s a little like seeing your spoodle shaven for the first time, you do get used to it…after a while.”
The ideal solution would be for you not to see your chin deficit as a deficit, and for society to come to the same solution, and for us to all fall around in a big group hug of self love (and for you to find a partner who loves you for who you are).
But let’s be real: when online dating you’re going to want to put your best foot (as considered by the world at large) forward.
But for aspiring beard baiters, there’s good news: according to Samantha, “It’s totally ok to hide a small double chin, enhance your jawline and sculpt the face, kind of like a flattering nice haircut for the face,” and it’s only sneaky “when you have zero chin and you’re trying to make your jawline look as chiselled like Jason Momoa.”
“If there is an extreme [difference]… that’s a no go zone. Shaping really is the key to a flattering beard.”
“As far as a clean-shaven [profile] photo, well… it depends. If you are looking for something short term then no reason not to, however, if you’re looking for something more longterm and you’d like to be fully transparent then it’s a good idea,” Samantha added.
Generally speaking, you should “show your true self as close as possible,” Samantha then told DMARGE. Why? Because if you don’t: “it ends in disaster.”
“I’ve seen people use great photos are many years younger, slimmer, more attractive but the problem is when it comes to the face to face meeting the person they meet is disappointed. This is bad for both parties and keeps you single for a lot longer and ultimately experiencing rejection.”
“The perfect profile photo brings out your personality, your best features and looks like you. It tells a story and it’s a mix of head shots, body shots and action shots.”
Ironically, 2020, with the ample opportunity lockdowns have provided Australian men to experiment with their facial hair, we have seen an acceleration of a grooming revolution long in the works.
As Samantha told DMARGE, there was a time when beards were taboo: “I would hear women say, ‘No facial hair’ it’s a turn-off. [But] now more and more women love beards and I mean LOVE! They actually request it.”
“I can’t figure it out, this has happened to me too. I was once all for clean shaven; now it’s beard all the way!! There is something so masculine about facial hair, that can turn boyish looks into sexy, strong, confident man!”
“Since lockdown, according to Gilette, the sale of razors to men have significantly dropped.”
Samantha then provided us with some tips for any man who thinks he may have oversold his mandible: “beard baiting can be a smart way to get more dates, however, if you are hiding an extreme receded chin then when it comes to shaving it off, you might be in trouble.”
“You better make sure you create a true emotional connection with a woman so that she looks more than skin deep.”
Putting aside the fact that you’re probably better off without someone that breaks up with you because “you shaved your beard,” here are Samantha’s tips for giving yourself the best chance possible of truly connecting with someone you’re seeing.
“Here’s how you can create an emotional connection Beard Baiting or not Beard Baiting… The key is making her feel good. When you make her feel good she will want more of you. A simple thing like a compliment, making her smile, being light hearted and having a joke with her can make all the difference.”
“Flirting with her and keeping it clean [and] innocent will make her want more of you especially if you don’t get sexual she will think, ‘I wonder why? That makes him unique. Is he different from other guys or maybe he doesn’t find me attractive? Creating that uncertainty within her will make her desire you more. The early phases of dating are all about uncertainty, which leads to the excitement of the chase.”
“When you chat with her via text, phone, email or face to face ask her lots of questions, and focus on positive topics where she can dream. Use lots of emotive words such as ‘feels good’, descriptive words like smooth, wet, slippery, most, hard…of course keep it clean; her subconscious mind will recognise the words and create a sensation of tingles.”
Food for thought…