We’ll dispense with the stereotypes and get straight to the point: Italians are not — by nature — any more ‘romantic’ than the rest of us. Their men do not have pick up lines embedded in their DNA. Their women are not born with perfect Instagram handles. Their couples do not coordinate their outfits per inerzia.
It comes down to culture, and in Italy, while wearing nice shoes and having private conversations loudly on the bus have become the norm, in Australia and America, we’ve grown used to scrolling wistfully through Tinder in the dark with the volume on silent.
Or is that just me?
Anyways, shocked by the number of outdated and — frankly — embarrassing “dating guides” for Italy there are online, full of cliches like “Italians consider themselves too cool to use Tinder” and “unless you speak Sicilian slang and understand Mafia hand gestures no one will date you” we decided to compile the modern man’s guide to amore.
Here’s what you need to know before hooking up in Italy.
Don’t Pretend To Be More ‘Passionate’ Than You Really Are
Rom coms may have bludgeoned us with this stereotype that Italians are louder, quicker to anger and more passionate love-makers than anyone else in the world. As The Local admits, there is something to this. However, as most expats will tell you, in Italy, as in any other country in the world, there is a spectrum of introverted and extroverted people, so if you want to find the right person for you — just be yourself.
It’s also worth noting that — unless you too are a ‘vigorous tongue kisser’ — Italian women will either find your more conservative smooching a refreshing change — or be concerned that you don’t like them enough. So play this one by mouth…
Tinder Is Your Friend
Broadsheet writers who went on exchange to Rome in 2002 and are still harping on about how Italians are too cool to meet anything but ‘the old fashioned way’ may want to revisit The Eternal City. Yes: sipping Chianti at your local bar may yield the desired result, but — especially if you are young and limbre — so will Tinder.
Italians Are Suckers For A Cute Puppy Too
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Some dating app advice is universal. And while we don’t all have the visage of Italian model and actor Luca Calvani, a cute puppy dog is still sure to take you from a 4.5 to a 7.
Learn To Improvise… & Embrace Impulsive Decisions
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In other words: learn to dance. Need tips? Italian playboy Gianluca Vacchi does it better than anyone.
Aperitivo Is A Smart Choice For A First Date
Going for pre-dinner drinks and nibbles instead of a full blown meal will help you avoid eating a whole plate of spaghetti while trying to answer your dates questions with your dignity and shirt lapel intact. It also gives you both a chance to bail if you don’t hit it off, or extend into dinner.
Your Date Will Be Late
Some stereotypes ring true.
Dress Up
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As Italian influencer Chiara Ferragni shows, Italians dress up for even a casual picnic date. So don’t blow it by wearing crocs or thongs (flip flops, if you’re American).
Don’t Be Afraid Of A Little PDA
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Make (out) like Romeo and Juliet.
Social Skills Are More Important Than ‘Cultural Knowledge’
Guess what? The babe you picked up at the bar or the hot guy you met on Tinder is judging you on your social skills (and the chemistry they have with you) more than how you pronounce the dishes on the menu or how well you know the history of the Roman Empire.
It’s Not All About The Bedroom
As one Italian woman who emigrated to Australia (and was quite confused with our ‘easy’ approach to dating) points out, “Sex for Italians is more of a quest; a reward at the end of an erotic, hot, flirtatious innuendo.”
“Instead, in Australia if you don’t give them sex within three dates, they might even stop texting you.”
Patience, patience patience.
If They Introduce You As Their Fidanzato (fiance); Things Might Be Getting Serious
Although — while it signifies a relationship ‘level up’ — contrary to popular (tourist) belief, it doesn’t literally mean they think you’re getting engaged.