Since universities have existed, linguists and sociologists have fought to see who can get funding for the most obscure research project. However, when it comes to “hype words” and “internet slang”, they have finally found a topic that transects all genders, socioeconomic backgrounds and tastes (if not age brackets): memes.
Language has been changing for centuries; thou doth better have noticed that already. But now that smartphones are available to everyone with 50 bucks and a data plan, new language trends are reaching larger audiences than ever before.
This means that the world’s 2.53 billion smartphone users are essentially undergoing a massive social experiment, where everyone follows pages that reflect their tastes (and sense of humour). These pages generally have a following between 1.4 million (The Tasteless Gentleman), 3 million (Girl With No Job) and 13.2 million (Sarcasm Only).
While their content is geared towards radically different demographics, they all use the same meme templates (i.e: same lede, different punchline).
Case in point:
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This means that no matter who you are (provided you are not too old to be into memes), no matter what you are into (be it sarcasm, politics, being petty or hating on your best friend’s ex) there are probably a bunch of “internet catchphrases” that have snuck into your vocabulary this year.
So how long are these words going to be knocking around our collective consciousness? Are they going to take over the world? Will our ancestors in 500 years time speak a “hype word” language comprised entirely of memes?
We asked Mark Post, a Sydney University lecturer and linguist, what he thinks. The verdict? Unlikely: “A slang user wants to use a non-standard word, and will probably only continue using that word so long as it remains non-standard.”
“Woke doesn’t sound cool once it is used by seriously uncool people, and the percentage of seriously uncool people in the world by definition can’t decrease (if we’re all cool, then no-one’s cool).”
Also.
“Creative people create innovations that spread quickly within internet communities and/or social networks, but spread slowly (if at all) beyond them. Chances are, most meme-based innovations will die out within a few years if not less. In a way, the bar to ‘language change’ is now higher than ever. To get half a billion people to adopt your innovation, you need to be seriously clever, seriously cool, seriously loud, or all three.”
“That’s why almost all slang has a very short half-life. I give ‘woke’ a maximum of 10 years.”
Without further ado, here are the rest of the ~woke~ terms you need to know to understand Instagram in 2020.
Here are the most popular ones, and what they mean.
Rude
Translation: annoying.
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Get This Bread
Translation: let’s go make some money.
Lit
Translation: cool.
Thicc
Translation: thick (in a good way…). Note: although this word actually dates back to the 90’s, it only became widespread on Instagram in the last couple of years.
Standard
Translation: classic/typical.
Clutch
Translation: last minute, important.
Woke
Translation: aware.
cuddling is just women trying to cut blood supply to your limbs and paralyze you.
stay woke.— andy. (@kwamedracula) 16 December 2018
Throw Hands
Translation: fight.
WHO THE F*CK WANNA THROW HANDS? pic.twitter.com/89COO5qNFz
— Dillon Francis (@DillonFrancis) 18 December 2018
How It Be
Translation: how it is.
Chess Not Checkers
Translation: thinking ahead, devious, smart.
Weird Flex, But Ok…
Translation: weird thing to brag about, but fair enough…
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Living My Best Life
Translation: doing my thang.
The Best Of Times
Translation: a great moment.
Attacked
Translation: self explanatory.
Hard Facts
Translation: truth bombs.
Mood
Translation: I can’t think of a creative Instagram caption, so I’ll write this instead.
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Don’t Say It
Translation: someone is about to say something they always say.
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I can’t wait to be old enough to not give a fuck and blurt shit like this.
New Phone…. Who Dis?
Translation: I’m outta here, lol (to be used when a person asks you a question you don’t want to answer).
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Although “new phone… who dis” does not feature in the above meme, it would be a good response to the situation…
Curve
Translation: reject, divert, sidestep.
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If you see these or any combination thereof, she doesn’t want your penis inside of her.
Thank You, Next
Translation: self explanatory.
And… Scene
Translation: a lie has just been told.
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