Sports Car Owners More Likely To Have A Small D*ck, Study Suggests

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Sports Car Owners More Likely To Have A Small D*ck, Study Suggests

Turns out the stereotype could be true: researchers in Britain claim to have established that there is indeed a link between how confident you are in your manhood and your desire to own an expensive sports car.

A study produced by the Department of Experimental Psychology at University College London aptly titled Small Penises and Fast Cars: Evidence for a Psychological Link seems to prove once and for all that the smaller your dick is (or the smaller you think your dick is, more accurately), the more likely you are to want to overcompensate with a sports car.

“The link between driving a fast sports car and having a small penis is a widespread cultural trope,
discussed by academics from Freudian analysts to evolutionary theorists. For the first time, we show
that it is grounded in a psychological truth,” the introduction to the study relates.

The study, which surveyed 200 men aged between 18 and 74, was exceptionally devious. They shared a stat around average penis size, and then asked respondents to rate how desirable they found a sports car, among other luxury and non-luxury products. They told some men that the average penis size was 18cm (significantly bigger than average) and some that it was 10cm (significantly smaller than average).

Does that mean car shows are just small dick conventions? Image: CNBC

The result? The men who’d been told that the average penis size was bigger than it actually is – that is, the men who were made to feel inadequate – consistently rated sports cars as more desirable than the men who were given the stat that made them feel more confident about their penis size.

Interestingly, it was only sports cars where there was a significant boost in interest: feeling adequate or inadequate had no effect on how men considered the desirability of other goods that were presented as part of the survey.

“Perhaps there is just something specific linking cars and penises in the male psyche… [But] the luxury
automotive industry may be unwilling to acknowledge this link,” the study concludes. Very droll.

For the record, I’m very comfortable driving my Ford Fiesta, thank you very much.

Read Next