Scientists Reveal The Only Guaranteed Way To Never Go Bald, But You Won’t Like It

No, we're talking about hair transplants.

Scientists Reveal The Only Guaranteed Way To Never Go Bald, But You Won’t Like It

Image: NBC

Scientists reveal the only guaranteed way to never lose your hair, but it’s such an extreme option that we suspect most men won’t go for it…

We take hair loss seriously here at DMARGE. From reporting on the balding Redditor who took the plunge and shaved his head for an immense glow-up to our hands-on review of Fortero’s baldness-beating shampoo, we know that men care about having hair.

Scientists and mere mortals alike have long been puzzled by male pattern baldness, giving rise to a booming industry of well-marketed but ultimately questionable hair loss treatments. However, recent research has begun to uncover more about the mechanisms behind hair loss and, while these insights offer some hope, the one surefire solution is pretty darned extreme.

Understanding Baldness

Male pattern baldness affects about 30% of men in their 30s and 40% in their 40s, and is driven by a combination of genetic inheritance and dihydrotestosterone (DHT), a derivative of testosterone. For the record, women also experience pattern baldness, typically after menopause when they lose the protective effect of female hormones.

Genetic predisposition plays the most crucial role in baldness. The hair follicles on the top and crown of the head carry receptors that are sensitive to DHT. This hormone shortens the hair growth phase and lengthens the so-called resting phase, eventually leading to an unhappy lack of hair regrowth.

Standard Treatment Options

Treatments like Minoxidil and Finasteride have shown some success. Minoxidil, originally a blood pressure medication, can slow hair loss and promote growth in a small percentage of men. Finasteride, a drug that inhibits DHT production, has also been effective in preventing hair loss and promoting regrowth. However, these treatments are far from foolproof and often bring a swathe of unwanted side effects…

You only need to take a quick glance at this graph of YouTube searches relating to hair loss treatments to see that men are becoming increasingly concerned… Image: ResearchGate

The cosmetic industry has also made a lot of money from rolling out a variety of wigs, toupees, and — most recently — hair transplants, offering aesthetic solutions for those with the money and means to get themselves on a plane to Turkey…

Advanced hair transplant techniques, such as follicular unit extraction (FUE), have become massively popular due to their natural-looking results and minimal scarring. Despite the increasing range of options, the stigma and emotional impact of hair loss remains difficult for a lot of blokes.

The Extreme Solution

So, what is the only guaranteed way to never go bald? Castration. Yes, you read that right. The removal of testicles eliminates the body’s ability to produce testosterone and, subsequently, DHT. Though undoubtedly drastic, this measure ensures that the hair follicles never become sensitive to DHT, thus preventing hair loss entirely.

Dr Nilofer Farjo, Harley Street surgeon and expert in balding treatments, sums it up pretty well:

“A bit drastic but… eunuchs don’t go bald.”

While castration is a guaranteed route to keeping your luscious locks, it’s understandably not a popular choice. Other less severe lifestyle changes, such as reducing stress, cutting out caffeine and alcohol, and taking natural supplements have shown some promise in slowing hair loss, and may be significantly more palatable to your average fella.

While the search for more practical solutions to hair loss continues, the only guaranteed way to never go bald remains an option most would prefer to avoid. Until then, the battle against baldness continues…