Australia’s property market is hotter than the cheeks of a millennial who forgot their keep cup in front of their environmentally friendly crush. Steamier than the jowls of a boomer who has just been informed their discount coupon expired yesterday. Warmer than the phone case of an iPhone that has been clutched all day by a TikTok addicted Gen Z.
Suffice to say: Australia’s property is ~hawt~.
With that comes whack behaviour – both from real estate agents and buyers alike. This in mind, we figured there’s no better time than now to share some of the wildest stories Australian real estate agents have ever talked about.
First cab (or, several cabs) off the ranks are from a recent article by realestate.com.au. The real estate news and listings site interviewed various Melbourne real estate agents to get their juiciest tales from on the job.
From sex to murders to lingerie thieves, they had truly seen it all.
Biggin & Scott Stonnington director Tom McCarthy, who has had a 30-plus year career, shared the following wild stories with realestate.com.au.
“He’s hosted an auction while a prankster in the house opposite pulled up her shirt and repeatedly flashed her breasts at him during the proceedings,” realestate.com.au reports.
“He didn’t bat an eyelid and the sale went off without a hitch.”
He also shared the story of a duo who thought they were being hilarious when they pulled up in front of an auction crowd and then pretended to have sex on the bonnet of their car.
“Then there was the time,” realestate.com.au reports, “Mr McCarthy ruined his favourite tie chasing a man down the street after he saw him take something from the vendor’s bedroom during an open home.”
That item? Lingerie.
Speaking of weird behaviour, Kay & Burton chairman Gerald Delany shared with realestate.com.au the time he and a colleague commandeered a buyer’s surfboard after he told them he didn’t have enough money to pay the deposit.
“Luckily for the surfer, he turned up at the agency the next business day with the cash and had his surfboard returned,” (realestate.com).
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Reddit has also shone a torch on some of the craziest stuff that has gone down in the Australian property market, on the part of agents themselves.
Under the topic “How are real estate agents so bad,” one member of the r/australia Reddit community wrote: “After moving out of a townhouse and spending an entire day scrubbing every surface and doing the lot, leaving it sparkling and better than we found it, I hand the keys in and go to my new house one hours drive away. Next day phone call from RE: ‘You didn’t leave it in a satisfactory condition, there is some dust in the kitchen drawer underneath the cutlery tray. If you want your Bond back you need to come and pick up the keys and clean it.'”
The Reddit user added: “Next day drive over an hour back to RE, pick up the keys, go back to the house, use a tissue to wipe the literal three specks of dirt underneath the plastic cutlery thing, return the keys, drive another hour home. Half a day and $20 petrol wasted on about three specks of dirt hidden underneath a plastic cutlery tray…”
“I hate RE agents so very, very much.”
“This happened to a mate of mine. They ended up scrubbing the house from ceiling to floor, paid for carpets to be professionally cleaned, dusted the light fittings, scraped out the oven, practically sandblasted the bathroom, and eventually got their bond back,” another Reddit user shared.
“A week later, the owners ran a bulldozer through the place to build units on the site.”
Tales from South Australian real estate agents, also told to realestate.com.au, show it’s not just Victoria where house selling and renting faux pas occur.
Cynthia Sajkunovic, Ouwens Casserly Real Estate told realestate.com.au, “One of my favourites was when my manager and I discovered an owner sunbaking topless outside on the mezzanine, which was also a prohibited area.”
“We thought it was a dead body at first! I had to climb over the railing to get to the owner to wake her up! That was a funny day. The owner didn’t even seem to mind I had seen her naked!”
Further stories from yet another Reddit thread (this one entitled: “Tell me your crazy real estate story. Here’s one of mine”) show crazy real estate antics occur overseas too.
“Had a listing where the seller moved out. When I went to check on the house to make sure it was presentable, it was empty, clean, and swept out. EXCEPT, in the kitchen a shotgun was leaning against the wall and a catheter bag of urine was on the floor next to it,” one user, who appears to be American, wrote.