Australian men have taken to social media to share their biggest life regrets, in the hope that other guys can avoid making the same mistakes.
They say you should live your life without regrets. But sometimes looking back can help you plot a better path forward.
Speaking of which: a Facebook group of Australian men with more than 250k members recently discussed some of their biggest regrets.
This was so, as the originator of the discission put it, “maybe some people on here will read what you have to say and not make the same mistake.”
“Not respecting my dad enough when I was young,” was one of the most ‘liked’ regrets. “He is still alive now that I take care of him back, but I gave it to him way to[o] rough in my school days always running around and barely home.”
“Wish I could’ve realised him being my only parent I should’ve respected him way more.”
Another said: “I wish I’d had more self-belief when I was going through high school and into my 20’s.”
The same guy added: “Kept feeling like I needed to ‘prove’ myself and that I lacked something. That was 12 years of my life I should’ve enjoyed more but I can’t get that time back. Who knows how much further along I might be today and how many more valuable lessons I’d have learned if I’d backed myself more then and hadn’t been so worried about making mistakes?”
Not making the most of school was a common regret, with various comments like: “Fucking around in highschool instead of getting a descent education” rolling in. As one man put it: “I would be working a lot less harder for more money right now.”
“Moving out of home at 14 to move in with friends getting on drugs an being a criminal for 10 plus years … which I’m still paying for now.”
Another big theme was opening up (or the lack thereof). One of the group’s users said that his biggest regret was never talking about the trauma he experienced as a nipper.
“I regret telling myself that everything really is okay when actually… it’s fucken not,” he shared. “In this I found myself self-sabotaging myself into a person I never saw myself as a kid.”
“Heavy disgusting drug use and the behaviour & lifestyle that comes with that. And many more mistakes and dark experiences that nobody would enjoy to tell. Anyway.. It’s too easy fall into negative patterns or cycles. Especially when one finds their way to ‘cope’. I’m guilty myself … everyday for missing a step or making a decision that doesn’t align with who I am and want to be.”
He added: “Even after getting clean and putting my life back on the rails, I still never opened up or actually realised I had trauma that caused me to spiral and literally sabotage myself in the first place… until I was 24/25.”
“I’m 27 now and honestly, still going through it all. I’m also guilty for being aware of these issues in my life and not working on them.”
“So to sum it up. Talk about your shit boys. Don’t bottle your shit up and push yourself to a spiral. And if I have one piece of advice for anybody who feels lost or angry or off path or whatever. Sit with that feeling/emotion and fucken feel it. Don’t react. Focus on why you feel that way. And make better decisions for YOURSELF.”
Others talked about how they wished they had managed their relationships differently. One big piece of advice was not to stay in a relationship you aren’t happy in.
One guy shared: “Staying with my ex ‘for the kids’. Don’t ever do it. Mine and the kids lives are 100x better off. Kids need happy parents, they don’t need together parents.”
Further insights included safety regrets (“took my safety glasses off becoz it was dark and couldn’t see half hour later fucking 3inch nail from a framer straight into the eyeball goodbye sight!”), addiction (“lighting that first durrie fucking 7 years ago and now I’m really struggling to stay off them”) and looking out for your mates.
Speaking of which, one sad tale shared on the page is as follows:
“[I regret] not picking up on subtle hints of a young lad. (I was young too). Hints were dropped in a normal conversation that I thought he was talking about moving back home. (Which he was doing). The lad committed suicide 2 days later. I do openly talk about this incident, even today.”
“The hope that someone else picks up on hints better than I did could save a life.”
There were also plenty of regrets about money and (not) investing. As one guy put it: “[I] spent a lot of my 20’s earning and burning good money. Wish I set myself up a bit better.”
Another said he regretted ignoring Bitcoin in 2008 and joked that now he invests in every single risky startup he sees to compensate.
“Spending what would have been a decent house deposit on vs commodore ute while living with my parents.”
Medical issues were another hot button topic. One man wrote: “Not checking on my health with doctors [is a regret]. Spent 30 years of my life not knowing I had ADHD and had a constant feeling of disappointment and regret in myself thinking I was just a lazy, unfocused piece of shit.”
Another wrote: “Waiting until I was 33 (37 now) to seek mental health advice. Absolutely ruined everything and everyone up until then. Family are nuts for sticking by me and now got a new career and doing better than ever.”
Yet another guy expressed his contrition that he never got himself into peak physical fitness, whether by military or sports.
“[I regret] that I never joined the military and never did any physical sports like footy boxing or martial arts or something. My mum was dead against it. Learn to tell people to get fkd youngins. Do what YOU want.”
Two more relationship based regrets also hit home quite hard. One man talked about how he lost a friend by not going to see him in hospital (“my biggest regret is not going to see a good mate when he was in hospital when he lost his leg in a bike accident…Lost a good mate because of it”) and another said he regretted choosing the army over his family.
“Missed the first 12 months of my daughter’s life. We are all good now super close bond but it’s taken me a while to even talk about losing that time without getting emotional.”
Finally, to cap things off, the honourable award (in our view) for the most hilarious regret goes to the guy who held an “after grog bog” shit in for three days while camping.
We’ll let him take it from here.
“Came home and had to enema 2kg of molasses coloured poo out of my rectal cavity which was pretty much just Great Northern and Woolies sausages and ended up scratching my ringer whilst conducting this operation. 10/10 worst pain I’ve felt is having a cut on me dot. Regret.”