In a world where size undeniably matters, one man has experienced trials and tribulations that many of us could only dream of: those of possessing an extraordinarily large member. Jonah Falcon, a 53-year-old New York-based actor, has unveiled the unexpected challenges he faces when trying to get away…
There are average penises, perfect penises, fractured penises, and then, at the very top of the tree, are enormous penises. What many of us might consider an anatomical miracle, however, apparently comes with a number of unexpected challenges. From constantly being asked to show it off and judgements being made about your morals to the unexpected challenges of getting away for a few days, the man who has it all has revealed all.
With his phallus measuring a staggering 13.5 inches (34cm) in length and boasting an 8-inch (20cm) girth, Jonah Falcon’s colossal appendage was officially recognised as the world’s largest back in 1999, drawing the attention and curiosity of strangers around the world as well as launching a presumably pleasant and profitable career for Falcon in the coveted ‘acting’ industry.
And yet, it seems that being well-endowed has its downsides. During a previous appearance on ITV’s This Morning, Falcon candidly shared his amusing encounters with airport security, which have left him unimpressed and reluctant to travel again any time soon.
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Whereas you and I mere mortals may get stopped and searched for forgetting to remove a phone from our pocket or watch from our wrist, Falcon is regularly pulled aside because security forces think that he’s hiding weapons down his trousers… which, in a manner of speaking, I suppose he is.
Aside from the inconvenience of having to allow extra time for airport security checks, Falcon has encountered challenges in his sex life as well. When asked how his gift affects intimacy, he said straightforwardly but revealingly: “I use my mouth a lot.” When asked to pinpoint the worst part of being so well endowed, Falcon was quick to highlight the many misconceptions harboured against him:
“For some reason, having 13-plus inches means I’m a bad person, or I’m egotistic, or I’m a porn star, or I’m dumb, or I’m a slut. I’m sick and tired of having people wanting me to measure it in front of them. I’ve done it 10,000 times – enough already!”
Jonah Falcon
And yet, despite his complaints, Falcon hardly shied away from showcasing his package to his interviewers, proudly showing a photograph to the stunned hosts, eliciting high praise from the now-disgraced Philip Schofield: “Hellfire. Congratulations!”
Phillip and Josie react to the world's biggest penis 😳 pic.twitter.com/SkYSD5mDNH
— This Morning (@thismorning) November 18, 2021
Nevertheless, Falcon did acknowledge the surprisingly few silver linings to having such a magnificent member, saying this to the still-reeling hosts: “The best thing about having a large penis is that I don’t have insecurity… I’m insecure about other things, but that’s not one of them… I am who I am, and I wouldn’t want to be different.”
Though this final rallying cry of self-confidence feels like an optimistic note to end on, spare a thought, if you can, for Mr Falcon, who bears the heaviest cross of them all. Alternatively, if you think you’ve got what it takes to alleviate him of his troublesome title, grab your tape measure, get some photographic evidence, and fire off an email to the folks at Guinness World Records; happy as I am for you, I’d rather them than me…