A beard. A trust. A private jet. A thousand-watt smile. A good sarcasm detector. Ask different women (or for that matter men) what they look for in a man and the answer is sure to vary. But there are some ‘holy grail’ characteristics so rare they typically inspire all of us to stop scrolling and take notice.
Enter: Monika Clarke, an Australian model living in New York who, in her own words, is recently and “extremely” single. Monika this week took to Instagram to field a series of questions about her break up, dating and social media.
Amid the revelations, Monika dropped an atomic bomb on our preconception the ‘perfect man’ must have a drop-dead Facebook DP, an artistic Instagram and a Tinder profile full of Golden Retrievers and wholesome hobbies.
For Monika, a man not having social media, is a “holy grail.”
On her Instagram story, in response to the question, “Would you ever date a non ‘clout’ person or normal guy?” she wrote: “A guy who doesn’t have social media is like the holy grail in my eyes!”
DMARGE interviewed Monika to understand why.
“It shows that social media is not of importance to his personal life and leaves him being a lot more present in time,” Monika told DMARGE.
“Social media is part of my job, and some men are attracted to a girl purely based on her following, which I find shallow,” Monika continued.
“I love the idea he would know nothing about me unless he personally gets to know me.”
“Lastly: one of my biggest turn-offs is a guy posting a mirror selfie in a bath towel. So I wouldn’t have to worry about him having done that haha.”
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Australian model Simone Holtznagel and Los Angeles based model Ashley Ann have both made similar comments to DMARGE, emphasizing the importance of being humble, authentic; maybe a little bit witty.
On Instagram Monika also answered the question: “What do you find attractive in a man?”.
Monika wrote: “Humor is a big thing for me. And someone who appreciates sarcasm. Also: a man who is humble and can always have an interesting conversation. Confidence without arrogance. A man who makes his woman feel appreciated and respected.”
How, exactly, does one achieve that? Monika told DMARGE it all comes down to authenticity: “In my opinion, if a guy wants to show confidence and not arrogance on social media, put a shirt on, showcase a smile, don’t try and post materialistic things. Less is more.”
“I don’t care about the watch you’re wearing while you’re holding your car steering a wheel. I want to see you enjoying time with your friends and family.”
“I want to look at a guy’s social and think: ‘I want to know more about him’ not ‘this guy is all about the clubs and the ‘clout.'”
It’s also helpful if you want to “shoot your shot” with a model, to understand “social media is a modern take on blockbuster movies” and that there is a hidden controversy and a “warped reality” behind the screen with “someone left feeling lonely and misunderstood while at the same time living a crazy blessed and cursed lifestyle while fans watch on wanting to be them or be with them.”
Monika also dropped a few gems of New York specific dating advice on her Instagram story.
One was on how to approach a woman: “I’m no pick up master, but I will say this: In NY if you see a girl out just approach her. If she doesn’t vibe back don’t be offended. But don’t be one of those guys who stare at a girl all night, goes home, then DM’s her. Just have the balls to say hi.”
For date plans, Monika’s best New York rendezvous idea is: “keep it simple; take her to dinner where the music isn’t too loud and you can sit in a corner, have some drinks and just get to know each other.”
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Monika also provided some more general New York insights. For starters – contrary to what many across the pond might think – The Big Apple is “most certainly” not dead.
“Times are stressful, times are tough but New York is going to pull through – New Yorkers are tough.”
Secondly, Monika admitted there are some silver linings to 2020: “I hate the club life – I am a dinner and drinks with friends kind of girl.”
Finally, Monika left some advice for anyone who might move to New York in the future, saying “go[ing] to a coffee place” or using bumble are both good ways to meet people and make friends.