Every single woman will have a difference in opinion when it comes to what makes a man attractive. Money, confidence and even your voice can all be influential factors. But recent data from dating app Bumble reveals guys may just need a winning personality to find the partner of their sueños.
Bumble, the dating app that asks women to initiate conversation with a match, has recently published its Dating Redefined Report which offers a number of insights into the ways Australia’s single community is approaching dating in 2022 and beyond.
Following the revelation that more and more singles are opening up to the idea of ethically non-monogamous relationships, Bumble has also discovered that Australians are now valuing personality over physical appearance…and allegedly being sincere when they say it.
We’ve all no doubt heard both men and women say “I just want someone nice,” and “personality is more important to me than looks,” (for some men, unfortunately, some women value a different form of big personality, if you catch our drift) but it has to be said – pretty fairly, we’d argue – that you do still need to be physically attracted to your potential new squeeze.
But, Bumble has found that 75% of Australian singles rank personality in their “top three things that makes them attracted to someone when dating,” and added, “32% rank it as number one overall.”
Moreover, “42% of singles in Australia rank emotional intelligence higher than physical attractiveness.”
Suddenly the revelation that British actor Matt Smith is now being considered an absolute babe makes sense.
WATCH: Dating & relationship coach Michelle Mouhtis explains the signs of an emotionally-intelligent person
Emotional intelligence has been a bit of a buzzword in recent years and essentially relates to using open communication with your partner and staying true to whatever emotions you personally feel, as opposed to just saying something to your partner that you know they want to hear.
Verywellmind defines it as “the ability to perceive, interpret, demonstrate, control, and use emotions to communicate with and relate to others effectively and constructively.” There are a couple of ways to can determine how emotionally intelligent you are, but the most common route is through a self-report test. These, naturally, can’t always provide accurate results because they’re at the mercy of you giving (or not giving) honest answers.
Verywellmind adds three of the key pillars of an emotionally intelligent person are that they think before they speak, have greater self-awareness and show empathy towards others.
In the context of the Australian dating scene, especially in a post-Covid world, it’s clear that men and women are genuinely now valuing actual conversation rather than a quick root with someone hot they picked up on a night out.
But why the change of heart and why should you (if you’re not already) value emotional intelligence over physical attractiveness next step you’re swiping on the apps?
Chantelle Otten, one of Australia’s leading sexologists and relationship experts, told DMARGE that, “While it’s important to know what you want from a relationship, a rigid checklist of features your potential partner has to have can somewhat limit your prospects.”
“How highly factors like humours, value and ambition are ranked, differ from person to person. But it’s clear from Bumble’s research that single Australians do value emotional intelligence higher than physical attractiveness.”
As for why this is, Chantelle adds “there’s an array of reasons…but it’s key in understanding, interpreting and responding to the emotions of others – all essential factors in fostering a healthy, equal relationship.”
Expanding upon the definition and signs of emotional intelligence, Chantelle said “it’s not just expressing your own feelings, but understanding, interpreting and responding to the emotions of others.”
“Having empathy for others, displaying self-awareness, accepting responsibility for your actions and setting boundaries when you ned to are all considered key pillars of emotional intelligence.”
“Your partner will never be able to read your mind, but it’s important that they can pick up on the signs that you might be feeling low, need support or that they need to respect your space, all of which is essential in fostering a healthy, successful relationship.”
And, other than having a healthy and successful relationship, Chantelle adds other key benefits of both partners being emotionally intelligent being “we are less likely to have excessive arguments and conversation without harsh disagreement.”
Now if that doesn’t sound like a recipe for success, we don’t know what does.